What to notice
Conditional friendship can look like warmth when you help and coldness when you cannot. A friend may make a joke at your expense, leave you out, or treat your achievements as a competition. No single item proves anything. Repetition, impact, and the response to your concerns provide a clearer picture.
Ask whether you can say no without retaliation. Do you make your life smaller before seeing this person? Does the friendship have space for your needs, or do you always manage theirs? Those questions are more useful than deciding whether the person is “fake.”
Try to describe a behaviour before you describe a person.
What to try
Choose one example that is concrete and recent. If it feels safe, say what happened and what you would like to be different: “When the plan changed without telling me, I felt left out. Next time, please let me know.” Listen for curiosity and accountability, as well as the words of the apology.
You can also adjust the level of access the friendship has to your time. Invite them to a shorter activity, share less sensitive information, or step back from commitments you cannot freely decline. Distance does not require a courtroom case.
What comes next
Repair is possible when both people can discuss impact and change their behaviour. If you repeatedly explain the same harm and nothing changes, you may decide to lower expectations or leave. Either choice can be sad. It can also be appropriate.